Welcome, my pretties, to the first post of a new blog, into which I hope to frequently write words in an order specifically engineered to evoke delight and wonder. Not often being one to sate an overzealous hunger for information without first teasing the pre-emptive digestive biology of salivation (bringing forth the mental enzymes of prose required to minimise the inert passing of paragraphy down the literary oesophagus, to maximise the nutrition thereby obtained), I will let the nature of these words – which now are few and disordered – reveal themselves in due course. My name is Oliver, these are my oliverwords. Some of these I will love and protect like a father; others I will play with, contend, probe, as academic colleagues; yet others will be of such depraved inanity that I will be left with no choice but to temporarily suspend my penchant for anthropomorphising them. With any luck and a dash of hope, I shall succeed in my aim: to be content that my contribution – these words which I hereby submit to the global internet, of which I have long been a net-consumer – will provide some verbal nourishment to those who seek it.
These were my first words, and these are their last: until we meet again, goodbye.